Barford Cricket Club

Barford notched up a good win against a touring Upton side, who had beaten us comprehensively last Sunday (match report to follow in time I hope). The seeds of our victory had been sown then, when we recommended they visit some of Leamington’s less salubrious drinking establishments. Their team had a look of regret about them. Following a precedent set last weekend, Captain Stacey offered the opposition the chance to bat first, which they gladly accepted.

I’ve often said that only a psychopath would mention themselves in a match report so, with that in mind, let’s draw a modest veil over the first 12 overs and return to the game with the opposition already 4 wickets down with about 40 on the board. Captain Stacey shuffled his bowling pack regularly in the stifling heat – Tom Hase kept things tight with two maidens followed by another over that was not. Richard Jones picked up a wicket but that bought in Upton’s big hitting (and grumpily hung over) number 7, who smashed the ball all round the ground for 39 before finally holing out from the skipper’s bowling, to a catch taken by a surprised Will Morgan.

Mike Ireland was offered the ball but had to go and change his shoes, at which point the captain turned instead to club powerhouse Tony Timms, who then took a central role in cleaning up all four remaining wickets; one stumped and one bowled, one excellent catch and then the coup-de-grace in the form of a run out. The Upton batsman smashed the ball into the ground at cover where it leapt up into Tony’s outstretched hand. In one smooth motion he threw it at the stumps at the bowlers end, where the story was slightly ruined by Ben Cook gathering the ball in front of the wickets and taking the bails off himself – it would certainly have hit without. The batsman was miles out off his ground. As far as I’m concerned, this season’s champagne moment was packaged and wrapped, with a bow placed on top.

Upton were all out for 130, at which point we broke to watch some other sport for a couple of hours, after which there was a notable lack of enthusiasm for continuing the game from the tourists. Nevertheless we got on with it and Kevin Tobin soon set about the bowling, with Mark Warner anchoring the other end. Kev continued to smash the ball through an increasingly packed leg side field on his way to a run-a-ball(ish) 50, whilst Mark accelerated too. After several balls were lost and spongey replacements found, the scoring rate slowed and Mark was finally out for 35 with the score on exactly 100. Kev followed soon after for 62 so it was down to Tom Hase and Ben Cook to see things home.

With the overs counting down things started to get tense when Tom was out, but Alex Warner strode to the crease and saw us home with a well made 2 not out (helped out a bit by a few boundaries from Ben).

Kev’s innings took him to 494 career runs, with Simon Morgan still on a mere 488. Who will be first to 500? Kev. But in the interest of making it sound more exciting, I’d like to suggest that in the next match both of them open, with Simon taking the first ball.

Meanwhile, without any of the fuss, Tony T himself has glided past the 500 mark in the last few weeks, whilst Richard Jones has also overtaken Pete Romyn in the all time standings.

After previous games, the Morgan twins had applied pressure on the skipper to bat higher up the order and he responded by putting them in to open, with a remit to go big or go home. Simon started with a fabulous array of strokes all round the wicket, none of which made contact with the ball. On the fourth ball of the first over he #drove classically# / #round arm baseball clubbed# (delete as appropriate) the ball down the ground for four. Unfortunately it was his last contribution because soon after he was caught, having been tricked by the terrible variable bounce that no one else experienced.

Will dug in to support PJ and was unlucky not to score more than 7 – all his best shots seemed to go to fielders. Meanwhile Paul was at his imperious best with shots all around the ground and, batting in partnership with Ben Linfield, the scoreboard started to tick over nicely. A big score looked on the cards, but after drinks Stoneleigh’s spin bowlers were able to assert more control.

Hendocam

PJ was finally bowled for 63 and Kev batted without the fireworks that he’d shown last week. Meanwhile Ben pushed on, benefitting from a couple of drops and at the start of the final over he was on 90. Captain Drage was on strike and was able to scamper a single off the first ball, allowing Ben to get to his century with some big hits down the ground. We ended on 208-4.

Stoneleigh’s reply never really got started and they were soon in deep trouble at 28-8. Hugh Robbins bowled very well without getting a wicket but there were two each for Hendo, Paul Robbins and Rob Davies who bowled his best spell for the club. Meanwhile Kev grabbed 3 catches behind the stumps.

More Hendocam

Led by former Barford legend Neil Carter, Stoneleigh’s tail wagged but it was too little too late and they were finally all out for 86.

As a perfect summer’s day drifted into evening, we adjourned to the Stoneleigh Social Club to enjoy our reflections of the game – an experience only slightly ruined by someone constantly crapping on about having laid a platform.

The skipper writes:

On a lovely sunny afternoon skipper International won the toss ( for a change ) and decided to bat. The opening pair of Drage and Boyce were pegged down a little at the beginning by some very nifty and accurate bowling. Cheaply Boyce lost his wicket for 4 to a brilliant catch by the keeper and In came Ben Linfield who soon started about his job. Drage was Incredibly unlucky to get himself out by playing on. The sixth different way to be out this season already. How many
others are left ?, ha ha. This bought Kevin Tobin to the crease with the score on 40 for 2. Linfield ( wow that boy Is fit and can run ) added 35 which didn’t Include any boundary’s, whilst his batting partner, now half a stone lighter with all that
running In the heat, ha ha, was doing It his way. Smash boundary, smash boundary smash boundary, you get the Idea. Hadley and Cook played superbly In batting around and supporting Kevin and he was desperately unlucky to be finally bowled on 94. To be honest I don’t think he had anymore strength or energy left to be able lift his bat up and was totally exhausted when walking off. Well played mate, that
was a superb Inning’s especially In that heat. Phil came to the crease with a few to go and added 4 before being caught off the final ball of our Inning’s. That along with Kev’s magnificent knock helped push us over the 200 mark for the first time this year.

Chasing 217 to win Lapworth came out to bat and Drage opened the bowling with Will Morgan and Tim Jolly. What a great start as Tim sent one of the openers back to the pavilion without troubling the scoreboard. James Patterson replacing young Will
took one and Ben Linfield replacing Jolly bowled superbly In taking 3 for only 15 runs. Although Lapworth had lost a few wickets their opener was still there and scoring well and they were certainly still In this game. Something had to be done to either break or contain the partnership that was beginning to build. The skipper had a cunning and devious plan and then right on cue the sun reappeared from behind the clouds and It
was time to Introduce the day’s tea maker Into the attack. Enter Jon Lambdon. The slow bowling, donkey dropping, pie chucking, self declared spinner ( tosh ) utilised the
sun to maximum effect and totally put the breaks on Lapworth’s run chase. He even managed to pinch a wicket for himself as the batsman clearly couldn’t see It falling out of the sun, ha ha, and finished with figures of 8-0-18-1. Well done Jon and an excellent tea as well mate, many thank’s. Now whilst Jon was holding up one end Hadley, Cook and Tobin nicked a wicket each from the other and at the end of Lapworth’s Inning’s they had reached 160 for 9. In all fairness I should just mention that Phil Morris took a brilliant catch whilst standing up to Kevin Tobin, It was the closest thing to real cricket that happened all day. There you go Phil, your BIG SHOUT, ha ha.

Well that’s how I remembered how everything happened.

Barford dominated a strong looking Ashorne side to record our first Sunday win of the season.

Batting first, our opening pair of Alistair Boyce and Chris O’Reilly weathered a storm of accurate bowling combined with variable bounce. Alistair picked off the occasional full ball with a series of crisp drives down the ground whilst Chris played a more traditional anchor role (at least I think that’s how the spectating Simon Morgan described it). Alistair was out for 34 in the 15th over, with the score on 58 so a solid platform had been laid. Ben Linfield batted aggressively from the off, with continued support from the sticky O’Reilly. Chris eventually came unstuck for 31 in the 28th over, but Ben pressed on with the help of cameo performances from Simon International, Tom Hase, Ben Cook, Paul Robbins and, to a very much lesser extent, Alistair Cutler. Our final total was 174-6, with Ben 64 not out.

After an excellent debut Cutler tea we were straight back out and Alistair C soon nipped out Vijay (formerly of this parish, now blessing Ashorne with his talents). After a period ruminating his food, Tim was bought into the attack and struck with his first ball. It was the first of 4 almost identical, classic TJ yorked wickets which knocked the stuffing out of Ashorne’s chase. Ben Linfield chipped in with a wicket and there were two for Paul Robbins and one each for Tom Hase and James Paterson. Ashorne were never able to build the partnerships that we enjoyed and were finally all out for 95.

It felt like a really strong team performance with everyone chipping in at some point.

Plans are already afoot for this year’s 6-a-Side tournament which will take place in Barford on 14th July. The cost is £30 per team, with a minimum of three games guaranteed for each team. We will also be operating a bar and a barbecue so please do pop down to support the club if you can.

Please be warned that the elite batting group from the Warwick Beavers side are already practicing pinching quick singles:

This year’s quiz will take place on Saturday 17th March in Barford Village Hall, starting at 7:00pm. It’s our main fund raiser and we welcome teams from within the club as well as the wider community, so if you fancy coming along you will be very welcome. We are ideally looking for teams of four or five, although we also offer a match making service if you can’t muster a full team.

The Quiz master will be James Beavan, ably assisted by the glamorous (and soon to be Mrs Beavan) Ola, so get brushing up on your Yorkshire rivers and Polish cities.

The cost of entry is £9.00 per person which includes a superb two course, home cooked meal. If you have any special dietary requirements please let us know in advance. There is also a licensed bar with beer, wine and probably something dodgy from the Skipper’s drinks cabinet.

If you would like to take part, please contact our Social Secretary Simon Drage on simonXK8@hotmail.co.uk  / 07851 122333.

Once again our brave team of elite tourists have sacrificed themselves, their precious family time and their livers on our behalf, in order to smooth out any potential tour wrinkles for later in the year. Tour Sec Mike Ireland writes:

“Don’t smell it, just put it on your mouth”

Ignoring scepticism regarding the necessity for a second recce, Barford’s fearless band of brothers braved plummeting temperatures and soldiered resolutely towards the east midlands.

After a visit to the Colston Bassett Dairy to stock up on the region’s finest Stilton (with Richard Jones taking orders for most of Dugard Place) the tour bus pulled into the car park of The Martin’s Arms. We were greeted by friendly staff, a roaring fire and an elderly couple who moved into the other room the moment we sat next to them. The food here is pricey but exceptional quality (and the Timothy Taylor is well kept) and would be an excellent choice for the Friday lunch provided six grand is nothing to you.

After checking in at the Millgate we took the short walk to The Organ Grinder, which had been missed off our previous visits. The pub is owned by The Blue Monkey Brewery and sells an array of simian themed real ales, all of which went down very easily. The pub is basic but welcoming, the only downside being one of the cheeky monkeys at the bar getting quite confrontational over Richard’s attempts to keep the log fire alight. There were also posters trying to recruit members for a book club review, possibly the complete works of Shakespeare, but that’s just one theorem.

The other new pub on the checklist wasn’t so good. The Vaults Ale and Cider House had been recommended to me by some Newark visitors but as we descended the sticky, smelly stairway into the cellar bar I realised I was unlikely to agree with them. The landlady was affable but the ale range limited and the décor in need of some TLC.

The Prince Rupert was once again everyone’s favourite (I personally like Just Beer but I’m in a minority of one) and it looks as though this will remain the tour base for 2018. Increased alcohol consumption (and not a Campari in sight) inevitably led to hunger and we headed to our safe bet The Greek Steakhouse. Unfortunately this turned out to be as disappointing as The Vaults so the die-hards will be looking for another Sunday night dining option.

So another good pub added to the list and remember there are some excellent taverns that nobody visited last year, all within one square mile. Also for those who find themselves enamoured with Blue Monkey beers, they are on sale in bottles from a shop in the town centre-I’m supping a bottle of Guerrilla Chocolate and Amaretto Stout as I type.

PS. The title refers to the comment made by The Martin’s waitress as she served Richard his Stinking Bishop…