Barford Cricket Club

Barford Cricket Club

A friendly cricket club based in Warwickshire

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2014 Pre-tour Report

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On Common Ground

This year saw the recce party’s numbers grow to five as a recently retired Fish ditched his Werther’s Originals, set Sky Plus to record Countdown, and took his place in the back of the Landrover.

Accusations impugning the necessity of our trip (‘You’re just off on a jolly’, perhaps by an envious Jolly?) were still ringing in our ears as we arrived at The Bell in Sapperton. Despite the absence of Alederflower (last year’s favourite) this proved to be a pleasant opener as we basked in the early spring sunshine. Next port of call was Minchinhampton (by proxy?) for lunch at The Weighbridge. Extensive road works made access slightly tricky and are a sore point with the landlord who has fallen foul of the council’s estimation for completion (not factoring in drinking tea, scratching bollocks etc.). The ale is very good and their signature deep filled pies are delicious but be advised that the dining area is small so if you’re planning to lunch there on a Friday you might want to book.

Onwards to Nailsworth, home of our new Sunday opponents the Nympsfield Commoners. The King George V ground is quite a way out of the town and is accessed via a very narrow road, as we discovered when we tried to play chicken with a tractor. The ground is picturesque but very open and I imagine any cross wind will be felt by everyone. Sandy seemed very keen to add the motorised roller to the Colin’s Construction empire but we managed to drag him (and his preoccupation with Viz’s latest triad of characters) away as we headed back to Stroud. The Egypt Mill in Nailsworth looks like a good bet for Sunday lunch (or did from the outside as we drove past!).

Thankfully The Ale House in Stroud is still open but has the same number of customers as on recent visits-two people at the bar and Finn the Irish wolfhound. We tried to see if we could book the adjacent room for our Saturday night meal but the landlord wasn’t prepared to cook after 9.00pm, which seemed a little short-sighted as he was turning down a guarantee of twenty good drinkers. Having said this, the beer is still top notch and remains my favourite watering hole in Stroud.

Hunger eventually led us to Sorrento, the Italian restaurant opposite The Imperial. After a very good meal ‘the workers’ hit the hay to leave the retired gentlefolk to sample The Imperial’s range of malt whisky. I’m pleased to report that the hotel is still very good value for what we’re paying and we’ll be dining there on the Saturday night, with an improved menu from last year.

Finally thanks to Timmsy for manfully volunteering for the transport manager’s duties, and I wish the chairman and his new workforce a prosperous summer.

Pictures courtesy of Mushie Jones (just to prove they weren’t in the pub all the time):

2014 Pre-season Party Update

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There was a rather disappointing turnout to the pre-season party where events (and apathy) conspired against us, although the food was excellent and plentiful as usual. Thanks to everyone who supplied food, transport and/or organisation, and our hosts at Snitterfield for letting us use their clubhouse. The kids had a great time in the skittle alley, the larger kids played snooker and as can be seen below the WAGs turned into pool hustlers(!):

2014 Pre-season Party

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Well, doesn’t time fly? We’ve only just recovered from the winter deluge and polished off the last of the Christmas cake and it’s time to start playing cricket again. Personally I think you’d be wise to take the lead of some our elder statesmen who wouldn’t dream of being seen in whites, let alone playing cricket, before the asparagus season is over…

Anyway back to business, and in the words of our inimitable Social Secretary:

“We now move on to our pre season get together. This will again take place at the Snitterfield club on Sunday the 13th of April, 12 until 4pm.

This is your opportunity to come along and have a beer a bite to eat and a chat with your team mates new and old before the season starts the following week (hooray). Wives, partners, girlfriends and children are most welcome to attend. The more the merrier…

Don’t forget your cash or cheque book’s though as Phil Morris will be on the prowl looking to collect your annual subscription fees if you have not already paid them.

Your first match secretary of the season, Paul Johnstone will also be there looking for some kind of bribe in the form of money or alcoholic beverage. This is if you wish to be considered for the first game of the season, ha ha.

Finally, I am on the lookout for a few volunteer’s to bring some food along. This can be in the form of any kind of main or dessert, hot or cold. If there is anyone out there who could help out by providing something to eat, please drop me a line back.

Hopefully there will be as many of you there as possible.”

Any and all offers of help will be gratefully received – as for the 4pm curfew, that is highly dependent on whether the Chairman has finished his traditional opening day frame of snooker…

Bragging Rights

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It’s not often we get the chance to “blow our own trumpet” as it were, especially given the usual levels of performance on the cricket field, but this weekend’s “Sunday Times top 100 places to live in the UK” has afforded just such an opportunity.

Barford has crashed through into the top 100 for the first time, ranked at 57th in the country, and is the top village to live in the Midlands. And the first (and hence, of course, most significant) reason in the accompanying blurb is the “sociable cricket club”, where apparently you don’t need to be Alastair Cook to join – personally, I think we’re more after the Alastair Sim type. I’m also not too sure about the reference to the “thwack of leather on willow” – normally I find it’s the thwack of leather on flesh with an accompanying cry of “ouch” (or something similar) that is more redolent of a Barford summer…

Shamefully, the local rag has seen fit to ignore the huge impact of the cricket club and focussed instead on minor issues such as crime rates, house prices and school performance.

Imagine if we actually played in the village!

SundayTimesTop100

Quiz Night Update

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A potentially chaotic evening, thanks to the mysterious disappearance of the Social Secretary and the apparently unrelated double-booking of the Secretary, was thankfully avoided as a roomful of quizzers had their grey cells exercised by urbane Quiz Master Martin Lusby. In the end it was “alright on the night”, as the “Moonies” resumed their winning ways, but only after winning on tiebreak from the “Quizzard of Oz” – who really should have started on -10 for their choice of name.

Copious amounts of Lasagne were both produced and eaten, followed by an electic choice of puddings, washed down by the usual refreshments (which rather bizarrely included a substantial amount of (untasted) Iron Brew WKD – what were you thinking, Drage??)

Many thanks for Martin and Sue for running the Quiz so effectively and to all the helpers who prepared and/or bought food, set up and/or cleared away, ran the bar and helped wash up. The Treasurer has escaped with the proceeds and gone off skiing – whether the club coffers will be replenished remains to be seen!

STOP PRESS: Looks like the Treasurer didn’t manage to spend it all, so we may be able to pay the rent at Snitterfield this year 🙂

2014 Touring Teams

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An important message from the Tour Secretary:

“Thanks to our three valiant captains for agreeing to be ‘king for the day’ (with the exception of Sandy who won’t be aware of this until he opens his email on Monday-but he’s far too polite to refuse!). The Sunday line up invariably changes due to injuries and Alederflower/Merlot”

Friday

Slimbridge – 6:00

Saturday

Kingswood – 2:00

Sunday

Nympsfield Commoners – 2:30

     
Chris O’Reilly(c) Paul Henderson (c) Sandy Peirson (c)
Simon Drage Chris O’Reilly Paul Stacey
Jake Farquhar Ben Griffin James Beaven
Tim Jolly Paul Johnstone Ben Griffin
Phil Morris Phil Morris Paul Johnstone
Simon Hawkins Erdsy Simon Drage
Richard Johnson Mike Ireland Jake Farquhar
Sandy Peirson Pete Fisher off the telly Tim Jolly
John Lambdon Tony Timms Richard Jones
TV’s Pete Fisher Richard Johnson Simon Hawkins
Tony Timms John Lambdon Paul Henderson

 

Quiz Night – Saturday 8th March

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After a break of 17 months to allow the social calendar to be optimally rearranged, the Annual Quiz Night returns to Barford village hall on Saturday 8th of March at 7pm. Your genial quiz-master for the evening will be super sub captain and legendary ex-Treasurer Martin Lusby. Please ensure you inscribe the date in your diaries and get a team together for an intellectual cornucopia. To magically have this (and all our other events) infused automatically into your smartphone or tablet device then grab this link.

Tickets are priced at £8 each or the Social Secretary will do a deal of £16 for two, and will include a sumptuous feast (main+pud) prepared (or at least re-heated) by the finest chefs in the club – judging by last years tea roster that’s not really saying much. There will as always be a cash bar,to ensure the grey cells are sufficiently lubricated…

As the Secretary notes:
“Once again the numbers are very limited to this very exclusive event so please get back to me as soon as possible with your ticket requirements to avoid any disappointment. As always it will be tables/teams of four, but don’t worry if you are only a two as I will easily be able to pair you off with another couple.” (And you think he’s joking!)

Christmas Drinks – Thursday 19th December

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The plaintive cry for Christmas drinks has gone out from the Fixtures Secretary eager to share his views on everyone and everything (he’s probably suffering from sledging withdrawal symptoms after missing the recent Curry Night). This might conceivably incorporate the “Sandy Peirson Memorial Cyclo-Cross Drunken Bike Ride Event”, although other forms of transport are also available.

It’s looking like the evening of Thursday 19th December at the Punch Bowl in Warwick is the current favourite but watch this space for further details as and when they are available…

Barford Dinner Report

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A goodly crowd of players and WAGs assembled at Merchant’s in Warwick to celebrate the achievements of the year at the annual end of season dinner. In a notable change from tradition this was held within a few weeks of the actual end of the season, thereby ensuring that the majority of us could still remember most of what had actually happened on the field of play. Admittedly this didn’t last for too long as the alcohol took hold…

An excellent dinner was had by all before the evening descended into a technological tour de farce force inspired by the efforts of the incoming and outgoing Social Secretaries and the Captain (or the Three Stooges as they perhaps should be known henceforth)

Three Stooges

Your hosting dream team

Speeches from the Skipper and Chairman were seamlessly intermingled with slideshow presentations and video links to the shy retiring winners who were (un)fortunately unable to make the evenings festivities, in an amazing display of interactive happenings that left the audience dumbstruck. Before they even had a chance to get their breath back, let alone toddle off to the bar for replenishments, the following prizes had been distributed:

Batting: Will Perry (apparently just keeping it warm for little rabbit next year!)
Bowling: Richard Johnson (mr consistency, except when he wasn’t)
Fielding: Shawn Harrison (the new safest hands in cricket)
Clubman: Simon Hawkins (all round good egg)
Champagne Moment: Richard Johnson (giving up an all run 5 on tour – still p!$$ing ourselves…)
Catch of the Season: Simon Hawkins (frankly I think he was as amazed as the rest of us)
Most ducks: John Lambdon (Who’s backing?)

Apologies to any prize-winners who were left out, but my memory is not what it was and I’d rather lost interest after being passed over again..

Given the fact that he’s probably listened to more speeches than most, it was perhaps unsurprising that Pete Romyn waltzed off with the sweepstake for the length of Ben’s speech (longer than expected as it did include two movies to pad it out a bit – the smart money was on 2-3 mins), whilst Jake Farquar grabbed the prize for Sandy’s speech (ages).

Pictures of the evening’s jollification are available here including a rare shot of Jake dropping something…

Many thanks to Paul, Simon and Ben for organising and hosting such an entertaining evening (although you can drop the raffle of Warwickshire 2nd XI autographs next year Simon!). It was great to have Richard and Lee from Snitterfield with us for the evening, and we look forward to another season playing at Snitterfield next year.

For those of you interested the 2 videos from the dinner featuring Shawn and Will and Simon International’s debut Through the Keyhole performance are now on Youtube (although probably not trending yet!). The links are below:

Outtakes to follow.

Curry Night Report

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An intrepid band of Barford’s finest congregated in Warwick to enjoy an evening of beer and curry. The best that could probably be said about the beer at Wetherspoons was the price and the ale cognoscenti in the group will probably not be returning any time soon. Some hardy souls did try the 99p pint, but one of the rejected samples is probably still settling out…

The action then moved to Saffron where the extensive menu provoked heated debate, but not much enlightenment. For some unknown reason, the advance party of the new Social Secretary and his young acolytes had decided to accompany a bulk order of poppadoms with Diet Cokes rather than the traditional lager, and spent the next 20 minutes trying to cover their embarrassment!

Captain Coke

What’s that you’re drinking skip?

A good range of curry was sampled, although the Coventry professionals let the side down a little on the spice front and Jake now has a new nickname of “Korma Boy”. The evening ended with a quick trip to the Rose & Crown which offers a nice point and a great vantage point for checking out the late night taxi clientele! The chairman had composed a little(!) poem in honour of Simon’s first event, but forgot to deliver it in the excitement:

Ones first time is important
You’re in a nervous sweat,
Your sang froid has gone dormant
But you can surely bet
That butterflies are rampant
Within a heaving chest
They seem to have a penchant
For bursting out your vest.

A virgin’s nerves are natural
One’s not done this before,
All past, hard won, collateral
Has just marched out the door
( and ) if you follow in the footsteps
Of past masters like our Paul
You have to try to put steps
In place to break the fall.

So Si, this is your christening
As Barford Social sec
And I hope you’re coolly listening
And not a nervous wreck
For on this first occasion
You will be judged, – and surely
The cooking may be Asian
But Europe before the jury.

Now Simon has a history
But, on that, we will not gloat,
But it’s still a complete mystery
What ‘s happened to the goat!
But now, from dear Leek Wootton,
He’s pulled the lovely Kaye
And he’s no longer the glutton
For the wives of yesterday.

So now he quietly breezes
Where once he would have stormed
He’s careful who he squeezes
And says he’s quite reformed.
He’s no longer a voyeur
He states with solemn pledge
As another divorce lawyer
Goes crashing off a ledge.

So our esteemed committee
Tried to hide a nervous fear
And thought it quite a pity
That the only volunteer
For the recent vacant social post
To which we now allude
Thinks Nuneaton can’t be beaten
When drunk and semi-nude!

So Barford’s turning point has come
Regarding social dos
Simon follows young
James Wilson’s mum
When ordering the booze
And when it comes to curry night
It’s here for all to see
He must have just got something right
To tempt the likes of me
From the comfort of my favourite pew
With whisky, pipe and slippers
To be here, with the likes of you
And 7 Bedworth strippers (where are they Simon?)

So let you all rejoin with me
And thank him, at this stage
So raise a glass to an act of class
Mr. Simon Drage!



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