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100 Club filling up fast

Tickets are selling out fast for the inaugural draw of the BCC 100 club due at the end of this month. In top QVC fashion, Captain Morgan has managed to flog the majority of numbers before they’d even been printed. Premium numbers, such as the “soixante-neuf” secured by the (hyper) Social Secretary, are even rumoured to be going on to the black market at up to 100% of the original face value.

There are currently only about a dozen or so left so make sure you avoid disappointment by getting your orders to our Vice-chairman without delay (see here toasting the success of his latest charitable scheme):

The original post read as follows:

“I am delighted to report that Barford Cricket Club has been approved by Warwick DC for a small lotteries licence. What this means is that we now have the go ahead to start up a 100 club, which will be a good source for fund raising for the club. The aim is to have this money available to the committee for use of the club, to support the finances of the club going forward and to invest in equipment and coaching etc.

This initiative needs your support and we hope those that can will do so.

The 100 club draw and membership will be administered by myself, with Phil Morris acting as the treasurer and one other committee members being actively involved on an availability basis. The draw will be held on or around the end of each month in the Joseph Arch Pub, our club sponsors, and prize winners will be notified by text/email and also a notice will be placed in the Joseph Arch by the Club Shirt over the fire place.

Members are free to buy as many numbers as they would like, and encourage family and friends to join up as well if they would like. Membership of the 100 club is £24 per annum, with 100 numbers available and a prize draw every single month. Meaning, each draw entry costs just £2 per month.

The aim and hope is to sell all 100 numbers and to do so within the next 6 weeks and we need you help and support.

I have attached a copy of the 100 club rules and an application form as a Barford Cricket Club 100 club. Please feel free to complete it and return it to me asap with payment or follow the payment instructions on the form. If you have a preference for a particular number I will of course accommodate that if possible on a first come first served basis.

Please have fun and join in this new club game,
Simon Morgan”

2015 Pre-tour Report

The Tourmeister writes on his return from the entirely selfless pre-tour extravaganza:

The 10.50 to Oakham
After nearly a decade of using the excuse that the sideways-facing rear seats in Timmsy’s Landrover made me travel sick, I finally I had to vacate the front seat and let the chairman ride shotgun as the brand new model made its inaugural tour recce.

A meandering eastwards route in bright spring sunshine eventually led the intrepid team of myself, Tony, Sandy, Richard and Fish to Uppingham, and a very narrow dirt track access to their ground (where we nearly lost a wing mirror). We were met by Kev, the affable clubhouse chairman, who gave us a guided tour of their impressive pavilion. For saying this ground wasn’t opened until four years ago, having previously been farm land, I doubt Barford will ever play on a flatter outfield (which overlooks the early stages of a golf course that was never completed due to the consortium running out of cash-and six grand was nothing to them).

Uppingham

Next port of call was the latest entry in the now legendary ‘Richard Jones Good Pub Guide’ for a spot of lunch. The King’s Arms in the village of Wing is a traditional country inn with its own smokehouse and poultry pen. Very high standard cuisine and a charming hostess, but the main attraction for me was Ten-Fifty, the superb ale from Oakham’s Grainstore Brewery. The only negative point was a couple of extras from TOWIE eating half their lunch and then complaining just to get their money back. If, as I imagine, this becomes the meeting place for those travelling down on Friday morning then I suggest booking as it’s not very big and gets busy.

King’s Arms, Wing

Wakerley & Barrowden’s ground is slightly more uneven but has plenty of rural charm with its white pavilion set in the shadow of a line of trees and a stone wall circling the playing area (I imagine the attached picture will have Pete Romyn frantically calculating gradients and inclines into his captaincy plans).

Wakerley & Barrowden

The final ground on our list was Saturday opponents Empingham. We were fortunate to arrive as the groundsman was diligently preparing things for the forthcoming season and he kindly showed us around the pavilion. The clubhouse is used by the village as a social club so we might even get a couple of spectators!

Empingham

With the three grounds and lunch venue sussed we arrived in Oakham and checked into The Old Wisteria. The rooms are good, especially for the price we’re paying, however the owner didn’t seem particularly interested in hosting the Saturday meal so we headed into town to see what was on offer. For an affluent county town there is a dearth of restaurants in Oakham as we passed a very ordinary Indian and a slightly better Italian, both of which had staff eagerly waving us to come in…oh, and a Chinese takeaway called ‘Wok This Way’(!) Thankfully this search did lead us to The Grainstore Brewery which has its own bar next to Oakham Train Station.

Grainstore, Oakham

As I drank more Ten-Fifty than I should have Richard consulted TripAdvisor and we decided to explore Baker’s Yard, which seems to be a split of a bar and tapas restaurant (I should add there is a Weatherspoons but needless to say, we didn’t bother). Baker’s Yard could certainly do a job but we decided to give our enthusiastic Italian friend a chance. The meal was adequate and hosts amiable, but the fact we were the only ones in there all night makes me wonder if they’ll still be open in July.

Over-indulgence at The Grainstore was taking its toll and I turned in leaving the chairman and the retirement community to sample the hotel bar (which I never got to see during the trip!). The following morning an excellent breakfast was served by the friendly receptionist, but the previous day’s sunshine had been replaced by freezing wind and rain so we headed home, avoiding Leicester as Richard III was being re-planted.

Oakham is fairly limited in terms of entertainment (there was some place called the XY Bar which looks as if it could keep the sniffers happy and will probably result in Drage’s absence when the telegrams are read out on Saturday) but there is enough to keep everyone happy.

As regards cricket, right from the start the people of Rutland (Judy, Chris, Kev and Adi) have been so accommodating and helpful in organising this tour that I’m confident it will be a good one.

Finally the usual vote of thanks to Timmsy and his new chariot for all the chauffeuring.

2014 Annual Dinner

From the one and only International:

After finally sorting everything with the people at Merchants I am pleased to say that here is the menu. It will again be priced at £25.00 per person ( Bargain ).

All I need you to do now is have a look through it, decide what you want and then let me know. Please encourage wives, partner’s, girlfriend’s, mistresses, friends and family to come along, the more the merrier.

Friday 17th of October, 7.00pm at Merchants Wine Bar, Warwick.

STARTERS:

SOUP Fresh and seasonal, served with fresh granary bread (v vv g*)

MUSHROOMS Button pan fried in garlic butter with granary soldiers & green leaf (v g*)

FISHCAKES Smoked Scottish salmon & haddock with cured cucumber & radish salad

PATE Smooth chicken liver & courvoiser leaf salad, caramelised red onion marmalade & toast (g*)

MAINS:

VEGETARIAN BANGERS With creamy mash & vegetarian caramelised onion gravy (v)

GNOCCHI Spinach & ricotta dumplings with red onion, parmesan shavings & a creamy pesto sauce (v)

STEAK HACHE Minced sirloin steak, Warwickshire bacon & extra mature Gloucester cheddar in a ciabatta bun served with hand cut chips rocket & roast baby vine tomatoes

SALMON 8oz grilled fillet, crushed new potatoes & leeks, cured cucumber & fresh parsley sauce (g)

CHICKEN Cotswold free range pan fried breast with chorizo & roasted pepper risotto (g)

DESSERTS:

STICKY TOFFEE PUDDING With clotted cream, toffee sauce & vanilla pod ice cream (v)

CREME BRULEE Vanilla burnt cream with raspberry relish & a Viennese biscuit (v g*)

ETON MESS Fresh strawberries & cracked meringue with strawberry sauce & fresh whipped cotswold double cream (v)

BANOFFEE PIE Fresh bananas on a biscuit base, toffee sauce & smothered in fresh whipped cream (v)

CHEESE BOARD Regional British cheese selection with all the usual accompaniments (v g*) – ADD £1.50

TO FINISH:

Cornish grown Tregothnan tea or freshly ground coffee

v = Vegetarian. vv = Vegan. g = Gluten free. g* = Gluten free if you ask.

All you have to do now is choose one starter, one main and one dessert per person and let me know. If you have any special dietary needs or requirements please let me know. If you have any questions or require more info then please get in touch. Failing that I look forward to receiving your dinner orders as soon as possible.

Cheers.

Simon International.

Hares stuffed and baked in Old Moseley Arms Fit Men assault

From our Special St Helena Correspondent in his last Sunday game before jetting (and sailing) off to the middle of the ocean comes a thorough match report and potted version for those suffering from ADHD. To celebrate the return of the Great British Bake Off, Barford’s very own Mel and Sue (Will and Shawn) produced their very own showstopper to give Jon the send-off we all know he truly deserved…

Jon: having his cake, and eating it

I have been told that my previous match report was too long and with too many big words. I have decided to ignore those comments and carry on as normal. There will be a shortened version at the end for those with an insufficient attention span/intelligence to read the proper version.

Despite the efforts on Mother Nature over the previous two days, Barford were fortunate enough to get a game played, albeit on the artificial wicket.

Barford fielded first, hoping that the intermittent cloud and stiff breeze would aid their legion of swing bowlers. Laurence Boyce and Gary Dunn (3-0-18-0) opened the bowling, but were unable to prevent Old Moseley plundering the Powerplay overs. The introduction of Simon Hawkins, with some miserly back of a length bowling, helped stem the tide. Captain Griffin then brought himself on, which proved to be an inspired change as he picked up 2 wickets in 2 overs.

The middle overs saw spin brought on from one end and Shaun Harrison from the other. Shaun bowled tidily for his first 3 overs, picking up a wicket stumped by Lambdon. Richard Jones was unlucky not to claim any scalps as his 5 overs cost 36 runs. Ben wisely took Shaun off before he could revert to type, and the introduction of Paul Henderson (5-0-24-2) paid dividends as he picked up 2 wickets courtesy of excellent catches from Laurence and Will Perry in the deep.

Andy Hawkins only bowled the two overs (2-0-17-0), but with the batsmen starting to tee off, Laurence was reintroduced and bowled with pace and swing from a full length, picking up two wickets in his last over to finish with figures of 7-1-39-2. Will and wicketkeeper Jon Lambdon combined in spectacular fashion to effect a run out to further dent the Moseley charge to the finish. Ben’s figures were tarnished somewhat as his only comeback over disappeared for 11 runs leaving him with 6-2-25-2. “Pah, that’s nothing, watch how many these go for!” said Shaun as his second spell of 3 overs cost an eye watering 38 runs (total: 6-0-48-1). Old Moseley posting an imposing total of 251.

Paul and Andy opening the batting – with the latter only contributing the one run before being out caught. With Ben in at 3, Barford put on 44 for the second wicket, but went from 51-1 to 51-4 with Paul (9) and Ben (24) getting out in the same over. Simon Drage joined Will at the crease with some sound advice to bat sensibly and build a partnership. He may have forgotten that they both needed to follow this plan as an agricultural hoik to his third ball led to his first duck of the season. Laurence was sent in with the instructions to have a swing and try and provide the impetus to get the innings back on track. Unfortunately, it was more impotence than impetus as he was bowled first ball.

The wagginess of the Barford tail was less than required, with Simon Hawkins (1), Shaun (9) and Gary (3) all departed in quick succession. Richard joined Jon at the crease for the final pairing needed only 131 to win off the last 12 overs. Could they see Barford home? Would the boundaries rain down and provide hope for the spectators? Could they restore Barford pride? No, no and no turned out to be the answers as Richard edged behind for a duck, leaving Jon stranded agonisingly short of his maiden 50 (on 8*).

Result: Old Moseley win by 128 runs. Lambdon MOM, S Hawkins TFC.

Short version:

They scored too many runs.
We didn’t take enough wickets.
We didn’t score enough runs.
They took enough wickets.
We lost.

Circumcising the cake

Crashing back to earth…

From our correspondent The Lambinator:

Barford, still riding the crest of the wave of their recent form, entered the last match before tour hoping to extend their winning streak. As the evening sun cast ever-lengthening shadows across the outfield, the formidable partnership of Paul Johnstone and Will Perry strode purposefully to the middle. PJ was in imperious form, and set about caressing the bowling around the field with his customary élan. In a contrasting style at the other end, the brawny Will bludgeoned his way to a brisk 13 before getting bowled. This brought the other half of the gruesome twosome, Mr Shawn Harrison, to the crease. Unlike his lover friend, however, Shawn was unable to show any competence dominance with the bat and fell cheaply for 1 attempting an ill-advised sweep shot. Simon Drage joined PJ at the crease, and despite taking 10 balls to get off the mark, soon made merry with the scoring – including, to the shock of all present, a run on the off side. Once medical attention had been accordingly administered, the crowd turned their attention back just in time to watch PJ dismissively swat the ball to the boundary, retiring on a beautifully crafted 33.

Next man in was Will’s “friend” Oli, who didn’t last very long (innuendo intended) making just 1. Simon Morgan played a useful cameo with 11, including running a 3, which had spectators searching for the defibrilator. This may or may not have contributed to his imminent departure. Have just arrived following car trouble, Ben Griffin hurried out, but understandably looked flustered and unable to replicate his recent form with the bat, falling for just 3. The infamous Barford tail failed to wag with Laurence drilling his first ball straight to cover – who rather unsportingly caught it, then your author bravely played out the last delivery without alarm. However, our esteemed Chairman, on his return to fitness, batted as though making up for lost time, ending not out with 10. Barford finished the innings 109 for 9.

Laurence quickly made up for his failure with the bat by bowling the opener with the very first ball of the innings. After an emphatic start, what Barford really needed to share the new ball was a genuine threat, somewhat who mixed control with searing pace. So Simon Morgan it was then. Although he bowled well (surprisingly), he failed to take a wicket (unsurprisingly) and finished conceding 15 runs from his 3 overs. At the other end, Ben replaced Laurence and the change immediately paid dividends with Will taking a superb diving catch to remove the other opener. After only one over, Ben was replaced by yours truly, in order to take advantage of the setting sun behind the bowlers arm. Again, an inspired bowling change as the second delivery drifted out, gripped, span back through the gate to take the top of off stump. Twitter was immediately alive with #ballofthecentury* and #lambdonforengland**.

Unfortunately, from here on in, the bowlers failed to exert any control on the game. Will bowled one over – which observers reckoned was one over too many – going for 12 runs. Shawn (2-0-15-0) made the ball talk – however, it was saying “please hit me to every conceivable part of the ground”, to which the batsmen duly obliged. PJ (2-0-10-0) bowled tidily without looking threatening and Richard Jones (2-0-13-0) got good turn and bounce without reward. Ben (2-0-6-1) and Laurence (2.5-0-14-1) came back at the end but it was too little, too late as WCCS reached their target with 2 overs to spare.

Man of the Match was PJ for his 33, TFC went to Shawn for being a complete liability.

* Possibly untrue
** Definitely untrue

Winning habits

From our correspondent Simon International:

On Sunday we travelled to the beautiful little ground of Alvechurch. It was a new addition to our fixture list and one I hope we can retain for next year as our hosts made us feel very welcome, prepared an excellent wicket, provided us with a superb tea and played the game with a great spirit.

So skipper Griffin lost the toss again, I really don’t know why he bothers? He could save himself the walk all the way out to the strip and the pointless chit chat on the way there and back by just saying ” Tell you what mate, you just tell me what you want to do and that’ll be fine “.

Anyway we were asked to bat and off went Richard Johnson and James Wilson. The wicket looked superb for batting though Richard didn’t last too long, caught by the guy who stands just to the left of the bowler, mid on or off, I don’t know. That bought the in-form skipper to the crease and he and James soon starting smacking the ball all over the place. It was raining 4’s and 6’s and we had reached 70 odd in only 9 overs (that’s very fast for us). But just when it looked like they were both going to bat all day James was gone, bowled for an excellent 37.

This found young Will (with a tear running down his face) out to bat. The thought of leaving Shawn for a while at the side of the pitch was just too much for him to bear (bless). Still the tears of pain turned to tears of joy as 10 overs later Will was again crying as he reached his maiden 50 for the club. I must say that the sight of Shawn running onto the pitch to embrace his special friend even bought a lump to the back of my throat and just for a solitary moment even I forgave them for being a pair of screaming queers, ha ha. Well batted Will.

Unfortunately the rush was just too much for the youngster and he was out next ball. Still he had done enough to buy a jug at the end of the game and that’s all that matters. Next in was International and it wasn’t long before he was registering the longest 6 of the day and chalking up another lost ball -there wasn’t enough time to walk to Shropshire to go and fetch it. Sadly for himself and the people who had paid to watch him put on a show of big hitting that was it as he fell next ball after having played on.

Now don’t forget that while Will was batting and then International the skipper was still there going about his business of scoring runs with ease and after a promise from International that Ben could keep his bat if he made another century that’s exactly what was on the cards. Enter Jake the spoiler and the dodgy umpire not wanting to lose his bat, International. From the sidelines that’s exactly what it must have looked like as Jake faked a run, Ben found himself stranded and desperately tried to get back but a deadly accurate throw and an umpire who was about to lose his trusted Samurai added up to Ben being run out about 20 short of a ton. Another great knock skipper, well batted.

Pete Romyn joined Jake and both added double figure scores to the Barford total before Jake was bowled and Pete was caught. Shawn (Little Rabbit) Harrison came out to bat but you could see that he was still emotionally choked after watching his shadow bat earlier on in the day and perished with a TFC threatening duck. That left Phil Morris and Richard Jones to see out the Barford innings which they comfortably did and we finished on 227 for 8.

That was our highest score of the season so far and thing’s got even better when we all tucked into the best tea of the season so far. Hamilton had just won the GP the Dutch won at football the night before (I bet them at 20/1) and we were unusually in a comfortable position at the half way stage. This was a good weekend but could it get even better?

Opening the attack was Griffin and Johnson and we soon had the home side on the back foot as Griffin struck early removing the dancing around opener. Not to be outdone at the other end the impressive Johnson bowled a devastating 8 over spell which the paying public just loved as he recorded brilliant figures of 8-3-12-3. The home side were reeling at around 35 for 4 after 15 overs. Bowling changes bought Jones, Wilson and Perry into the attack and while Richard made his usual contribution of at least a couple of wickets, James and Will were unlucky with a few dropped catches. Now I’m not the kind of guy who would point the finger or name names as we play, win, lose or draw as a team. But see if you can work this out – sounds like Dawn Garrison, had a shocker in the field attempting to catch the ball on several occasions whilst trying desperately to secure the TFC award, ha ha.

With only 4 wickets left to find the skipper gave Shawn the chance to get himself out of jail by bowling at one end and Tony Timms at the other. It was Tony who struck first with his quicker delivery after setting the guy up. A piece of inspired bowling had left us now only needing 3 more wickets. Tony struck again, we needed 2 and Rabbit needed a miracle. But was it going to happen as the Alvechurch captain mullered one which had 6 written all over it but thankfully for Rabbit the safest hands in cricket underneath it. The prize wicket had fallen and within a few more deliveries a now revitalised Rabbit claimed the final wicket, cleaned bowled. Our host’s were all out for 133 and Barford had notched up another morale boosting victory before we head off on tour.

While having a drink after the game and a chat with the oppo’s captain it was decided that the man of the match should be awarded to Ben Griffin and the TFC be awarded to, wait for it, Little Rabbit. After all his hard work trying to redeem himself he still ended up being voted for. This angered the little fella who immediately quoted the club rule book and sure enough in paragraph 3 of section 2 there is a clause which say’s if a player is unhappy with being awarded the TFC he can demand a vote by fellow player’s from that day’s team on who is awarded the TFC from a shortlist of two. So after deciding it was a straight vote between Shawn and Phil the votes were cast and to Shawn’s relief Phil Morris picked up the award of the TFC and took it on the chin like a true gent.

Well that’s how I remembered everything happening.

Simon International.

Video: Attack with Simon Drage

The next in our video series, he barely needs any introduction.

A run machine, part-time quizmaster, full-time social secretary and the ‘Safest hands in Cricket’, he knows only one way of playing and that’s Attack, Attack, Attack!

Enjoy Simon Drage like no-one else has.

Video: Batting with Sandy Peirson

First in an occasional series of videos highlighting Barford’s team-members and their talents.

This week it’s the turn of our chairman, wicket-keeper, batsman and bon-viveur Sandy Peirson demonstrating how to bat (and get run out…)

2014 Pre-tour Report

On Common Ground

This year saw the recce party’s numbers grow to five as a recently retired Fish ditched his Werther’s Originals, set Sky Plus to record Countdown, and took his place in the back of the Landrover.

Accusations impugning the necessity of our trip (‘You’re just off on a jolly’, perhaps by an envious Jolly?) were still ringing in our ears as we arrived at The Bell in Sapperton. Despite the absence of Alederflower (last year’s favourite) this proved to be a pleasant opener as we basked in the early spring sunshine. Next port of call was Minchinhampton (by proxy?) for lunch at The Weighbridge. Extensive road works made access slightly tricky and are a sore point with the landlord who has fallen foul of the council’s estimation for completion (not factoring in drinking tea, scratching bollocks etc.). The ale is very good and their signature deep filled pies are delicious but be advised that the dining area is small so if you’re planning to lunch there on a Friday you might want to book.

Onwards to Nailsworth, home of our new Sunday opponents the Nympsfield Commoners. The King George V ground is quite a way out of the town and is accessed via a very narrow road, as we discovered when we tried to play chicken with a tractor. The ground is picturesque but very open and I imagine any cross wind will be felt by everyone. Sandy seemed very keen to add the motorised roller to the Colin’s Construction empire but we managed to drag him (and his preoccupation with Viz’s latest triad of characters) away as we headed back to Stroud. The Egypt Mill in Nailsworth looks like a good bet for Sunday lunch (or did from the outside as we drove past!).

Thankfully The Ale House in Stroud is still open but has the same number of customers as on recent visits-two people at the bar and Finn the Irish wolfhound. We tried to see if we could book the adjacent room for our Saturday night meal but the landlord wasn’t prepared to cook after 9.00pm, which seemed a little short-sighted as he was turning down a guarantee of twenty good drinkers. Having said this, the beer is still top notch and remains my favourite watering hole in Stroud.

Hunger eventually led us to Sorrento, the Italian restaurant opposite The Imperial. After a very good meal ‘the workers’ hit the hay to leave the retired gentlefolk to sample The Imperial’s range of malt whisky. I’m pleased to report that the hotel is still very good value for what we’re paying and we’ll be dining there on the Saturday night, with an improved menu from last year.

Finally thanks to Timmsy for manfully volunteering for the transport manager’s duties, and I wish the chairman and his new workforce a prosperous summer.

Pictures courtesy of Mushie Jones (just to prove they weren’t in the pub all the time):

Barford Cricket Club