Barford Cricket Club

Who needs Andy Saltzman when we’ve got Chris O’Reilly!!

This year’s quiz will take place on Saturday 22nd March in Barford Village Hall, starting at 7:00pm. It’s our main fund raiser and we welcome teams from within the club as well as the wider community, so if you fancy coming along you will be very welcome. We are ideally looking for teams of four or five, although we also offer a match making service if you can’t muster a full team.

The cost of entry is £10.00 per person which includes a superb two course, home cooked meal. If you have any special dietary requirements please let us know in advance. There is also a licensed bar with beer, wine and probably something dodgy from the Skipper’s drinks cabinet.

If you would like to take part, please message the club secretary on 07730 869857

The old farts have once again returned successfully from their reconnaisance mission deep into enemy territory, and the Tour Secretary has submitted the following unexpurgated report:

‘Then a pint with the boys in a bar full of noise’

The picturesque village of Redmile provided an unusual detour on the return recce to Oakham as I finally visited a filming location of my favourite TV series ‘Auf Wiedersehen Pet’.

For the less seasoned reader, this comedy drama focussed on a disparate group of builders trying to compete with the faceless 1980’s corporates like Wimpey, McAlpines and Colin’s Construction, with varying degrees of failure. During the early part of 1986 they were billeted in The Barley Mow pub in a Derbyshire village while they renovated the fictional Thornley Manor-hence we found ourselves on the doorstep of The Windmill, in the Leicestershire countryside.

After mourning the loss of my youth (and mullet) we headed over to The Chequers at Woolsthorpe for lunch. The pub has fond memories for Richard Jones as he played on the adjoining cricket pitch as a fifteen year old and broke a roof tile with a towering six (coincidentally, The Titanic set sail from Southampton to Cherbourg on the very same day). The Chequers does excellent food, the only downside being that they advertise a ‘Campari Sunset’ on their cocktail board-the chairman ordered one but felt that it spoiled the natural flavour of the aperitif (a bit like adding water to a 100 year old malt-well, maybe not).

Replete with fine food we moved on to North Luffenham, the main reason we managed to justify this trip. Age seems to be taking its toll as Messrs Jones and Fisher had no memory of the ground, despite playing there sixteen years ago. The large, sloping tree lined oval is similar to last year’s Sunday venue, but hopefully our performance won’t be!
On arrival in Oakham we felt it was unfair to head straight to The Grainstore without giving some other pubs a chance so we called in at The Lord Nelson. After being largely unimpressed by the round (except mine which was lovely, so not all bad eh) we set up camp at The Grainstore where the Ten Fifty (and several large Grouses-you know who you are) was top notch, as usual.

Dinner consisted of tapas at Bakers Yard, where we are scheduled to have our Saturday meal (if Drage and Dunn ever bother to send me their choices) at which point I lost my voice due to a chest infection and cough, much to the amusement of the team, but not the chairman who only got one hour’s sleep due to sharing a room with an asthmatic pit pony.

Everything looks good so far

That’s living alright

Ed: further photographic coverage of their adventures can be found here courtesy of Mushie

Now the freeze has set in it seems perfect timing to remind you all of a couple of things, both of which should get you of hibernation.

Firstly, nets start again this coming Sunday with the first of 6 sessions at Warwick School (to be followed by the usual debrief), leading in to a further 6 sessions at Kenilworth on Monday nights. Each session costs a paltry £3, which should get you more than a glimpse at both Sandy’s Helicopter shot and the Treasurer’s hand grenades. Any prospective members would do well to come along, if only to reassure themselves that we really aren’t world beaters…

Also, the Tour Secretary has confirmed the 2016 Tour will be returning to Oakham for more fun and frolics

Tickets are selling out fast for the inaugural draw of the BCC 100 club due at the end of this month. In top QVC fashion, Captain Morgan has managed to flog the majority of numbers before they’d even been printed. Premium numbers, such as the “soixante-neuf” secured by the (hyper) Social Secretary, are even rumoured to be going on to the black market at up to 100% of the original face value.

There are currently only about a dozen or so left so make sure you avoid disappointment by getting your orders to our Vice-chairman without delay (see here toasting the success of his latest charitable scheme):

The original post read as follows:

“I am delighted to report that Barford Cricket Club has been approved by Warwick DC for a small lotteries licence. What this means is that we now have the go ahead to start up a 100 club, which will be a good source for fund raising for the club. The aim is to have this money available to the committee for use of the club, to support the finances of the club going forward and to invest in equipment and coaching etc.

This initiative needs your support and we hope those that can will do so.

The 100 club draw and membership will be administered by myself, with Phil Morris acting as the treasurer and one other committee members being actively involved on an availability basis. The draw will be held on or around the end of each month in the Joseph Arch Pub, our club sponsors, and prize winners will be notified by text/email and also a notice will be placed in the Joseph Arch by the Club Shirt over the fire place.

Members are free to buy as many numbers as they would like, and encourage family and friends to join up as well if they would like. Membership of the 100 club is £24 per annum, with 100 numbers available and a prize draw every single month. Meaning, each draw entry costs just £2 per month.

The aim and hope is to sell all 100 numbers and to do so within the next 6 weeks and we need you help and support.

I have attached a copy of the 100 club rules and an application form as a Barford Cricket Club 100 club. Please feel free to complete it and return it to me asap with payment or follow the payment instructions on the form. If you have a preference for a particular number I will of course accommodate that if possible on a first come first served basis.

Please have fun and join in this new club game,
Simon Morgan”

From our Special St Helena Correspondent in his last Sunday game before jetting (and sailing) off to the middle of the ocean comes a thorough match report and potted version for those suffering from ADHD. To celebrate the return of the Great British Bake Off, Barford’s very own Mel and Sue (Will and Shawn) produced their very own showstopper to give Jon the send-off we all know he truly deserved…

Jon: having his cake, and eating it

I have been told that my previous match report was too long and with too many big words. I have decided to ignore those comments and carry on as normal. There will be a shortened version at the end for those with an insufficient attention span/intelligence to read the proper version.

Despite the efforts on Mother Nature over the previous two days, Barford were fortunate enough to get a game played, albeit on the artificial wicket.

Barford fielded first, hoping that the intermittent cloud and stiff breeze would aid their legion of swing bowlers. Laurence Boyce and Gary Dunn (3-0-18-0) opened the bowling, but were unable to prevent Old Moseley plundering the Powerplay overs. The introduction of Simon Hawkins, with some miserly back of a length bowling, helped stem the tide. Captain Griffin then brought himself on, which proved to be an inspired change as he picked up 2 wickets in 2 overs.

The middle overs saw spin brought on from one end and Shaun Harrison from the other. Shaun bowled tidily for his first 3 overs, picking up a wicket stumped by Lambdon. Richard Jones was unlucky not to claim any scalps as his 5 overs cost 36 runs. Ben wisely took Shaun off before he could revert to type, and the introduction of Paul Henderson (5-0-24-2) paid dividends as he picked up 2 wickets courtesy of excellent catches from Laurence and Will Perry in the deep.

Andy Hawkins only bowled the two overs (2-0-17-0), but with the batsmen starting to tee off, Laurence was reintroduced and bowled with pace and swing from a full length, picking up two wickets in his last over to finish with figures of 7-1-39-2. Will and wicketkeeper Jon Lambdon combined in spectacular fashion to effect a run out to further dent the Moseley charge to the finish. Ben’s figures were tarnished somewhat as his only comeback over disappeared for 11 runs leaving him with 6-2-25-2. “Pah, that’s nothing, watch how many these go for!” said Shaun as his second spell of 3 overs cost an eye watering 38 runs (total: 6-0-48-1). Old Moseley posting an imposing total of 251.

Paul and Andy opening the batting – with the latter only contributing the one run before being out caught. With Ben in at 3, Barford put on 44 for the second wicket, but went from 51-1 to 51-4 with Paul (9) and Ben (24) getting out in the same over. Simon Drage joined Will at the crease with some sound advice to bat sensibly and build a partnership. He may have forgotten that they both needed to follow this plan as an agricultural hoik to his third ball led to his first duck of the season. Laurence was sent in with the instructions to have a swing and try and provide the impetus to get the innings back on track. Unfortunately, it was more impotence than impetus as he was bowled first ball.

The wagginess of the Barford tail was less than required, with Simon Hawkins (1), Shaun (9) and Gary (3) all departed in quick succession. Richard joined Jon at the crease for the final pairing needed only 131 to win off the last 12 overs. Could they see Barford home? Would the boundaries rain down and provide hope for the spectators? Could they restore Barford pride? No, no and no turned out to be the answers as Richard edged behind for a duck, leaving Jon stranded agonisingly short of his maiden 50 (on 8*).

Result: Old Moseley win by 128 runs. Lambdon MOM, S Hawkins TFC.

Short version:

They scored too many runs.
We didn’t take enough wickets.
We didn’t score enough runs.
They took enough wickets.
We lost.

Circumcising the cake