From our Special St Helena Correspondent in his last Sunday game before jetting (and sailing) off to the middle of the ocean comes a thorough match report and potted version for those suffering from ADHD. To celebrate the return of the Great British Bake Off, Barford’s very own Mel and Sue (Will and Shawn) produced their very own showstopper to give Jon the send-off we all know he truly deserved…
Jon: having his cake, and eating it
I have been told that my previous match report was too long and with too many big words. I have decided to ignore those comments and carry on as normal. There will be a shortened version at the end for those with an insufficient attention span/intelligence to read the proper version.
Despite the efforts on Mother Nature over the previous two days, Barford were fortunate enough to get a game played, albeit on the artificial wicket.
Barford fielded first, hoping that the intermittent cloud and stiff breeze would aid their legion of swing bowlers. Laurence Boyce and Gary Dunn (3-0-18-0) opened the bowling, but were unable to prevent Old Moseley plundering the Powerplay overs. The introduction of Simon Hawkins, with some miserly back of a length bowling, helped stem the tide. Captain Griffin then brought himself on, which proved to be an inspired change as he picked up 2 wickets in 2 overs.
The middle overs saw spin brought on from one end and Shaun Harrison from the other. Shaun bowled tidily for his first 3 overs, picking up a wicket stumped by Lambdon. Richard Jones was unlucky not to claim any scalps as his 5 overs cost 36 runs. Ben wisely took Shaun off before he could revert to type, and the introduction of Paul Henderson (5-0-24-2) paid dividends as he picked up 2 wickets courtesy of excellent catches from Laurence and Will Perry in the deep.
Andy Hawkins only bowled the two overs (2-0-17-0), but with the batsmen starting to tee off, Laurence was reintroduced and bowled with pace and swing from a full length, picking up two wickets in his last over to finish with figures of 7-1-39-2. Will and wicketkeeper Jon Lambdon combined in spectacular fashion to effect a run out to further dent the Moseley charge to the finish. Ben’s figures were tarnished somewhat as his only comeback over disappeared for 11 runs leaving him with 6-2-25-2. “Pah, that’s nothing, watch how many these go for!” said Shaun as his second spell of 3 overs cost an eye watering 38 runs (total: 6-0-48-1). Old Moseley posting an imposing total of 251.
Paul and Andy opening the batting – with the latter only contributing the one run before being out caught. With Ben in at 3, Barford put on 44 for the second wicket, but went from 51-1 to 51-4 with Paul (9) and Ben (24) getting out in the same over. Simon Drage joined Will at the crease with some sound advice to bat sensibly and build a partnership. He may have forgotten that they both needed to follow this plan as an agricultural hoik to his third ball led to his first duck of the season. Laurence was sent in with the instructions to have a swing and try and provide the impetus to get the innings back on track. Unfortunately, it was more impotence than impetus as he was bowled first ball.
The wagginess of the Barford tail was less than required, with Simon Hawkins (1), Shaun (9) and Gary (3) all departed in quick succession. Richard joined Jon at the crease for the final pairing needed only 131 to win off the last 12 overs. Could they see Barford home? Would the boundaries rain down and provide hope for the spectators? Could they restore Barford pride? No, no and no turned out to be the answers as Richard edged behind for a duck, leaving Jon stranded agonisingly short of his maiden 50 (on 8*).
Result: Old Moseley win by 128 runs. Lambdon MOM, S Hawkins TFC.
Short version:
They scored too many runs.
We didn’t take enough wickets.
We didn’t score enough runs.
They took enough wickets.
We lost.
Circumcising the cake
