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2014 Annual Dinner Report

Once again the annual dinner at Merchants in Warwick drew a good crowd of players, WAGs and associated hangers-on to celebrate another successful season. After sitting down to an excellent dinner, the real business of the evening got underway with the usual smorgasbord of speeches and performances (in the loosest sense of the word). Unfortunately the Skype link that the technical team had rigged to the Barford outpost of St Helena was down so the Lambinator was sadly missed.

Nevertheless the Skipper’s speech managed to introduce a couple of new twists with the production of the Barford Calendar which was presented to Shaun as he moves to Bristol to conquer the world of retail (NSFW high resolution photos here) :

2014 Barford Calendar

In addition, the crowd were introduced to the “Barford Hairs” the next boy band off the block, fortunately too late for this year’s X-Factor (photos here):

The Barford Hairs

Reviewing one of our most successful seasons, the skipper modestly neglected to mention the main reason for our success – namely his imperious form with both bat and ball which ensured to topped the averages by some margin. And all this despite, or perhaps because of, the birth of a baby daughter! The runner’s up prizes were distributed as follows:

Batting: Paul Johnstone (Simon D’s go-to batsman)
Bowling: Simon Hawkins (Simon D’s go-to bowler)
Fielding: Will Perry (Simon D’s go-to fielder)
Clubman: Simon Drage (top cheerleading)
Champagne Moment: Simon Morgan and Will Perry’s club record 6th wicket partnership against Snitterfield
Catch of the Season: Shaun Harrison (a bit like this, only better, apparently)
Most ducks: Simon Hawkins (in the absence of John Lambdon who absconded to St Helens to avoid receiving it for two years on the bounce)

Following the prizes, the chairman took the floor with an updated version of Bobby Shafto followed by the Treasurer who’d been sharpening his rapier wit… In recognition of his exceptional achievements on the field, the Social Secretary presented the Skipper was presented with a suitably ginormous trophy!

Further pictures of the evening’s entertainment from the paparazzi are available here…

Thanks to Simon International and Ben for organising and hosting the evening’s extravangaza and roll on the rest of the off-season…

2014 Annual Dinner

From the one and only International:

After finally sorting everything with the people at Merchants I am pleased to say that here is the menu. It will again be priced at £25.00 per person ( Bargain ).

All I need you to do now is have a look through it, decide what you want and then let me know. Please encourage wives, partner’s, girlfriend’s, mistresses, friends and family to come along, the more the merrier.

Friday 17th of October, 7.00pm at Merchants Wine Bar, Warwick.

STARTERS:

SOUP Fresh and seasonal, served with fresh granary bread (v vv g*)

MUSHROOMS Button pan fried in garlic butter with granary soldiers & green leaf (v g*)

FISHCAKES Smoked Scottish salmon & haddock with cured cucumber & radish salad

PATE Smooth chicken liver & courvoiser leaf salad, caramelised red onion marmalade & toast (g*)

MAINS:

VEGETARIAN BANGERS With creamy mash & vegetarian caramelised onion gravy (v)

GNOCCHI Spinach & ricotta dumplings with red onion, parmesan shavings & a creamy pesto sauce (v)

STEAK HACHE Minced sirloin steak, Warwickshire bacon & extra mature Gloucester cheddar in a ciabatta bun served with hand cut chips rocket & roast baby vine tomatoes

SALMON 8oz grilled fillet, crushed new potatoes & leeks, cured cucumber & fresh parsley sauce (g)

CHICKEN Cotswold free range pan fried breast with chorizo & roasted pepper risotto (g)

DESSERTS:

STICKY TOFFEE PUDDING With clotted cream, toffee sauce & vanilla pod ice cream (v)

CREME BRULEE Vanilla burnt cream with raspberry relish & a Viennese biscuit (v g*)

ETON MESS Fresh strawberries & cracked meringue with strawberry sauce & fresh whipped cotswold double cream (v)

BANOFFEE PIE Fresh bananas on a biscuit base, toffee sauce & smothered in fresh whipped cream (v)

CHEESE BOARD Regional British cheese selection with all the usual accompaniments (v g*) – ADD £1.50

TO FINISH:

Cornish grown Tregothnan tea or freshly ground coffee

v = Vegetarian. vv = Vegan. g = Gluten free. g* = Gluten free if you ask.

All you have to do now is choose one starter, one main and one dessert per person and let me know. If you have any special dietary needs or requirements please let me know. If you have any questions or require more info then please get in touch. Failing that I look forward to receiving your dinner orders as soon as possible.

Cheers.

Simon International.

Curry Night Report

An intrepid band of Barford’s finest congregated in Warwick to enjoy an evening of beer and curry. The best that could probably be said about the beer at Wetherspoons was the price and the ale cognoscenti in the group will probably not be returning any time soon. Some hardy souls did try the 99p pint, but one of the rejected samples is probably still settling out…

The action then moved to Saffron where the extensive menu provoked heated debate, but not much enlightenment. For some unknown reason, the advance party of the new Social Secretary and his young acolytes had decided to accompany a bulk order of poppadoms with Diet Cokes rather than the traditional lager, and spent the next 20 minutes trying to cover their embarrassment!

What’s that you’re drinking skip?

A good range of curry was sampled, although the Coventry professionals let the side down a little on the spice front and Jake now has a new nickname of “Korma Boy”. The evening ended with a quick trip to the Rose & Crown which offers a nice point and a great vantage point for checking out the late night taxi clientele! The chairman had composed a little(!) poem in honour of Simon’s first event, but forgot to deliver it in the excitement:

Ones first time is important
You’re in a nervous sweat,
Your sang froid has gone dormant
But you can surely bet
That butterflies are rampant
Within a heaving chest
They seem to have a penchant
For bursting out your vest.

A virgin’s nerves are natural
One’s not done this before,
All past, hard won, collateral
Has just marched out the door
( and ) if you follow in the footsteps
Of past masters like our Paul
You have to try to put steps
In place to break the fall.

So Si, this is your christening
As Barford Social sec
And I hope you’re coolly listening
And not a nervous wreck
For on this first occasion
You will be judged, – and surely
The cooking may be Asian
But Europe before the jury.

Now Simon has a history
But, on that, we will not gloat,
But it’s still a complete mystery
What ‘s happened to the goat!
But now, from dear Leek Wootton,
He’s pulled the lovely Kaye
And he’s no longer the glutton
For the wives of yesterday.

So now he quietly breezes
Where once he would have stormed
He’s careful who he squeezes
And says he’s quite reformed.
He’s no longer a voyeur
He states with solemn pledge
As another divorce lawyer
Goes crashing off a ledge.

So our esteemed committee
Tried to hide a nervous fear
And thought it quite a pity
That the only volunteer
For the recent vacant social post
To which we now allude
Thinks Nuneaton can’t be beaten
When drunk and semi-nude!

So Barford’s turning point has come
Regarding social dos
Simon follows young
James Wilson’s mum
When ordering the booze
And when it comes to curry night
It’s here for all to see
He must have just got something right
To tempt the likes of me
From the comfort of my favourite pew
With whisky, pipe and slippers
To be here, with the likes of you
And 7 Bedworth strippers (where are they Simon?)

So let you all rejoin with me
And thank him, at this stage
So raise a glass to an act of class
Mr. Simon Drage!

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